Samadhi estates....one of the places Swami Vishnu lived
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Headstands, iai do, broken knees and yoga teacher's training in Quebec
Here I am in the Laurentian mountains, at the Sivananda ashram in Val Morin, Quebec. It is spectacularly beautiful, and soooo good to be out of the city.
Today I got up into headstand for the first time. It was wonderful! I felt such joy at doing it finally too. But they weren't kidding when they said that it works on the psychological component of fear. Not long afterwards I felt a lot of sadness and frustration....all the unhappy energy that I couldn't afford to allow myself to feel after breaking my knee. All the limits and restrictions imposed on my while I relearned to walk - I am not only still feeling these things, but feeling them quite strongly. Man, I really need to release this, it's not doing anything for me. I guess I have to keep doing the headstand. lol
I am here for a month doing the TTC (teachers training program) and my main reason for being here is to heal my knee (both the physical as well as mental/emotional) as much as possible. Hopefully I can return to the Iai do training afterwards also. Well....we'll see how far along I have progressed by the end of the program.
Peace,
Yvette
Today I got up into headstand for the first time. It was wonderful! I felt such joy at doing it finally too. But they weren't kidding when they said that it works on the psychological component of fear. Not long afterwards I felt a lot of sadness and frustration....all the unhappy energy that I couldn't afford to allow myself to feel after breaking my knee. All the limits and restrictions imposed on my while I relearned to walk - I am not only still feeling these things, but feeling them quite strongly. Man, I really need to release this, it's not doing anything for me. I guess I have to keep doing the headstand. lol
I am here for a month doing the TTC (teachers training program) and my main reason for being here is to heal my knee (both the physical as well as mental/emotional) as much as possible. Hopefully I can return to the Iai do training afterwards also. Well....we'll see how far along I have progressed by the end of the program.
Peace,
Yvette
Scorpions, cold butts, abscessed knees and the beginnings of transformation in Quebec
The teachers' training course continues...
I've been at the ashram for over a week now, and I've discovered that my knee and tendon isn't just badly inflamed, there is an abscess developing as well. (Man, that's just one more thing that I SO don't need right now.) No wonder the sudden and intense burning pain.
Good thing I carry a medical kit and acupuncture needles wherever I go. Took a shower, made an incision, drained the area, cleaned and dressed the wound. Did some acupuncture, rested a bit and am now trying not to aggravate the knee. Remember, this is the knee that I smashed to bits and pieces and spent the better part of a year undergoing surgeries and then relearning how to walk. Not pretty. But definitely in the past and moving on. The problem is, is that everything we do at the ashram aggravates the damn thing! lol. Sitting meditation, intense poses, lots of weight on the knees, LOTS of walking, hiking etc. I don't want to let it bother me, but does bother me. I don't like being limited by the body...I have great will power, but sometimes, the body just isn't....ah..."there yet."
I managed to get up to full headstand today, twice, though not for very long.
Everyday we sit for many hours on the floor, our asses hurt so much we can hardly sit down for dinner. I have taken to squatting during the meals. It's just like when I was training at the Shaolin Temple in China....squat..eat....be ready for anything...
I've also started sleeping on my side or belly due to the discomfort of my behind....it turns out nearly everyone else in the program is experiencing the same phenomenon. Of course, bending your knees hurt just as much as keeping them straight for any length of time. They feel stretched, strained, pulled and abused beyond what you think you can endure....every morning I think, oh god....another 8 hours of sitting with my legs crossed..... Ah well, transformation is never really easy.
We get up at 5am every day. This is the easiest part of the whole program for me. Staying up is the difficult part. The 30 of us in the course really bonded... when you've cried, laughed, screamed, sung in front of everyone (by yourself - and I'm not a karaoke type of gal) have hearty discussions about your latest bowl movement and decided to divorce your husband/leave your girlfriend, change your life etc....you can't help but feel close.
Ok ok....I have Sanskrit prayers to memorize....gotta go
peace and light,
YF
I've been at the ashram for over a week now, and I've discovered that my knee and tendon isn't just badly inflamed, there is an abscess developing as well. (Man, that's just one more thing that I SO don't need right now.) No wonder the sudden and intense burning pain.
Good thing I carry a medical kit and acupuncture needles wherever I go. Took a shower, made an incision, drained the area, cleaned and dressed the wound. Did some acupuncture, rested a bit and am now trying not to aggravate the knee. Remember, this is the knee that I smashed to bits and pieces and spent the better part of a year undergoing surgeries and then relearning how to walk. Not pretty. But definitely in the past and moving on. The problem is, is that everything we do at the ashram aggravates the damn thing! lol. Sitting meditation, intense poses, lots of weight on the knees, LOTS of walking, hiking etc. I don't want to let it bother me, but does bother me. I don't like being limited by the body...I have great will power, but sometimes, the body just isn't....ah..."there yet."
I am very determined to find perfect balance in Scorpion. (Vrichikasana) I practice constantly.
Prahlada, the head instructor, likes to `help` - then make fun and attempt to `goad` me into even more `fun` challenges. He`s such a rajasic Pitta. People, do NOT play volleyball with him unless you are willing to seriously `bring it.`
There are lots of interesting things to learn... it's like being in class all day, but it's sooooo good for you, and besides, I consider it fun. It's the type of challenge that I enjoy - plus, this whole month I am not in Toronto, therefore, technically, I consider myself on vacation. Any time spent outside of Toronto is vacation time in my books.I managed to get up to full headstand today, twice, though not for very long.
Everyday we sit for many hours on the floor, our asses hurt so much we can hardly sit down for dinner. I have taken to squatting during the meals. It's just like when I was training at the Shaolin Temple in China....squat..eat....be ready for anything...
I've also started sleeping on my side or belly due to the discomfort of my behind....it turns out nearly everyone else in the program is experiencing the same phenomenon. Of course, bending your knees hurt just as much as keeping them straight for any length of time. They feel stretched, strained, pulled and abused beyond what you think you can endure....every morning I think, oh god....another 8 hours of sitting with my legs crossed..... Ah well, transformation is never really easy.
If I was into acrobatic kung fu, I could make it look really good.
We get up at 5am every day. This is the easiest part of the whole program for me. Staying up is the difficult part. The 30 of us in the course really bonded... when you've cried, laughed, screamed, sung in front of everyone (by yourself - and I'm not a karaoke type of gal) have hearty discussions about your latest bowl movement and decided to divorce your husband/leave your girlfriend, change your life etc....you can't help but feel close.
Ok ok....I have Sanskrit prayers to memorize....gotta go
peace and light,
YF
Our first yoga class each day was done to the rising sun. Simply spectacular.
Early morning meditation on boulders in special areas deep in the forest, vibrating with high frequency energy. Highly nourishing. And damn cold the first few minutes.
Therapeutic vomiting, diarrhea and reconnaissance missions in Quebec
The course deepens... as does our need for the constipation to STOP!
On Wednesday we practiced kriyas, or cleansing techniques. It was all very comical, actually, and I too would have been laughing had it not been for the fact that I too was in line with everyone else throwing up. (That's therapeutic vomiting you non-kriya people!)
No wonder all the flowers surrounding the pool area are all so pretty, they're constantly getting "watered." Apparently this is where all the kriya lessons take place, so this area has a rich history of being used as the main spot for the purgation of one's insides.
Well, no one will ever go barefoot in the pool area ever again, that's for sure!
I never thought I'd say this, but it turns out that diarrhea is your friend. There are two reasons for this;
1. after a strict change in diet, most people in the program had severe (and I mean SEVERE *ahem*) constipation for over a week. Any one of those poor folks would have welcomed the "urge" to go. You know, the funny thing was that pretty much every one finally felt like going about 8-10 days into the program, but unfortunately, the ashram had run low on toilet paper at about the same time....man, you never saw so many people hoarding tissue in your life! Sneaking off in the middle of the night....taking the car into town to buy tissue and toilet paper...half the ashram was in town on "reconnaissance missions..."
2. One of only three possible and viable excuses to get you out of a class if you desperately need the rest. The other two things being illness and death - yours, of course! - And they do check.
In the morning it turned out that the parking lot was looted and my roomies' car stolen. They found it later that day, luckily it was in ok shape, but they stole her two mantra chanting CD's. Now here is the interesting part of that story;
My three roommates and I decide to go to town for some "provisions" - now this is the first time Debbie is driving her car since it was stolen a few days earlier....It is a beautiful sunny day...we role down all four windows and Debbie remarks how it is too bad the thieves took her CD's. She is about to turn on the radio when she notices there is a CD in the player...looks like the thieves left her a "gift." What the heck, she turns it on and blaring out of the four opened windows come intense, hardcore french rap! And it was sooooooo good.....all four of us were completely into it....except for the fact that right at that moment the swami walks by and stares at us in surprise! Well, it was good while it lasted anyhow!
Tonight we are observing silence. Also known as mouna. What bliss. Too bad it is only for a night. While at the Yasodhara ashram in British Columbia several years ago, I would do a week of silence at a time, it is SUCH a beautiful experience. I highly recommend you try it at some point.
peace and light,
Yvette
On Wednesday we practiced kriyas, or cleansing techniques. It was all very comical, actually, and I too would have been laughing had it not been for the fact that I too was in line with everyone else throwing up. (That's therapeutic vomiting you non-kriya people!)
No wonder all the flowers surrounding the pool area are all so pretty, they're constantly getting "watered." Apparently this is where all the kriya lessons take place, so this area has a rich history of being used as the main spot for the purgation of one's insides.
Well, no one will ever go barefoot in the pool area ever again, that's for sure!
I never thought I'd say this, but it turns out that diarrhea is your friend. There are two reasons for this;
1. after a strict change in diet, most people in the program had severe (and I mean SEVERE *ahem*) constipation for over a week. Any one of those poor folks would have welcomed the "urge" to go. You know, the funny thing was that pretty much every one finally felt like going about 8-10 days into the program, but unfortunately, the ashram had run low on toilet paper at about the same time....man, you never saw so many people hoarding tissue in your life! Sneaking off in the middle of the night....taking the car into town to buy tissue and toilet paper...half the ashram was in town on "reconnaissance missions..."
2. One of only three possible and viable excuses to get you out of a class if you desperately need the rest. The other two things being illness and death - yours, of course! - And they do check.
In the morning it turned out that the parking lot was looted and my roomies' car stolen. They found it later that day, luckily it was in ok shape, but they stole her two mantra chanting CD's. Now here is the interesting part of that story;
My three roommates and I decide to go to town for some "provisions" - now this is the first time Debbie is driving her car since it was stolen a few days earlier....It is a beautiful sunny day...we role down all four windows and Debbie remarks how it is too bad the thieves took her CD's. She is about to turn on the radio when she notices there is a CD in the player...looks like the thieves left her a "gift." What the heck, she turns it on and blaring out of the four opened windows come intense, hardcore french rap! And it was sooooooo good.....all four of us were completely into it....except for the fact that right at that moment the swami walks by and stares at us in surprise! Well, it was good while it lasted anyhow!
Tonight we are observing silence. Also known as mouna. What bliss. Too bad it is only for a night. While at the Yasodhara ashram in British Columbia several years ago, I would do a week of silence at a time, it is SUCH a beautiful experience. I highly recommend you try it at some point.
peace and light,
Yvette
Sutra neti - nasal cleansing
That's right people, you really are seeing what you think you're seeing....in the nose, and out the mouth. This is called sutra neti, one of the 6 cleansing techniques that all diligent yogis do! (brush the teeth, clean the nasal cavities....you're morning routine will never be the same again!)
Kirsti relaxing in the grass before class..."is that the bell?....no...it can't be....the grass is calling to me.....just..another.....five..minutes...."
I couldn't resist... Kirsti looked so relaxed and content lying in the grass. Wow.. this feels so incredibly good... I haven't done this since... well.. ever.
Kundalini syndrome, pranayama and dim muk injuries revisited
So I am back in Toronto, and things are falling into place.
The month of the TTC (teachers training course) in Quebec was a very good, purgative, occasionally cathartic, and joyful experience. Nothing like a little discomfort, misery, bliss, laughter, failures and successes to bring 30 strangers together.
The teachers we loved and admired. The view, the food, the air, the silent walks, the evening bonfires, chanting, meditation, the stargazing, the Saturday night talent shows and company of those we shared this with is missed. It seems like a dream, as all such things do. Then again, according to Vedanta, it IS a dream. So much for that. lol
Happily, I have two others from the course here in Toronto with me. I've made arrangements for them to teach with me at my dojo and Scadding court community centre.
So, some interesting observations:
I am ready to fully practice TCM, and acupuncture again. I did a fair bit of it at the ashram and it felt great to get back into that modality. I am looking forward to it.
After the advanced pranayama, my old dim mak elbow injury and broken right jupiter finger injury resurfaced. Neither of these injuries healed properly and I've always had trouble with them, but it's been over 15 years for both and I hadn't felt the intense soreness and discomfort since they were first injured. Especially the elbow, I was paralyzed for a month before it started to heal, and thus, bend....but only a little bit at a time, and man was it ever painful. Holy cow....don't ever get dim mak-ed people. It sucks.
These energy blocks never healed properly and the pranayama was finally getting to levels deep enough to address that. It was working. I felt really sore in these areas for about three days, then suddenly it was much better. The pranayama is REALLY cathartic - it altered the regular course of my menstrual cycle, my blood pressure and normal body temperature.
There is a reason you are told not to mess with this stuff unless you have a good teacher or you really know what you are doing. It was due to intense, and I mean intense qi gong and pranayama exercises that I got into a bit of trouble in my early 20's - I basically had to "check out" and move to the mountains of BC and live with monks in utter silence for months on end to learn to "cool down" and regulate my body once more. It was the only time in my life where I was a bit frightened that I had managed to do something to myself that I (possibly) couldn't get out of. Another term for what I experienced is known as the "kundalini syndrome' - if you don't take care of it, you can go insane, no joke. It's painful physically, and maddening mentally. Thankfully, I found the answer in the ashram library up in the Kootneys, you can reverse the unpleasant affect of kundalini syndrome with venting exercises. Many old Taoist texts will speak on this. I was very lucky to have found the remedy.
So, I am looking forward to doing the Sadhana intensive next year. (Basically TONS of pranayama, but you have teachers assigned to "watch" you and make sure you are maintaining mental stability. Not everyone finishes this course, now I know why...) It will clean up A LOT of stuck or blocked energy. If only two days of pranayama began the healing process of such old blockages and massive martial arts injuries, imagine what two weeks of day in and day out pranayama will do! Then again, I might become insane, apparently that is one of the possible side effects....a risk I am more than willing to take.
I left Val Morin at this time last week. It is a Sunday afternoon. My journey is taking a turn and opening new doors....doors I want opened. So, I continue my training and work towards the next ego breaking, reality shattering, no sleep for four weeks ashram experience.
peace, Hari OM
YF
The month of the TTC (teachers training course) in Quebec was a very good, purgative, occasionally cathartic, and joyful experience. Nothing like a little discomfort, misery, bliss, laughter, failures and successes to bring 30 strangers together.
The teachers we loved and admired. The view, the food, the air, the silent walks, the evening bonfires, chanting, meditation, the stargazing, the Saturday night talent shows and company of those we shared this with is missed. It seems like a dream, as all such things do. Then again, according to Vedanta, it IS a dream. So much for that. lol
I love crow variations... they make me feel like a kick-ass breakdancer! Kapow!
Happily, I have two others from the course here in Toronto with me. I've made arrangements for them to teach with me at my dojo and Scadding court community centre.
So, some interesting observations:
I am ready to fully practice TCM, and acupuncture again. I did a fair bit of it at the ashram and it felt great to get back into that modality. I am looking forward to it.
After the advanced pranayama, my old dim mak elbow injury and broken right jupiter finger injury resurfaced. Neither of these injuries healed properly and I've always had trouble with them, but it's been over 15 years for both and I hadn't felt the intense soreness and discomfort since they were first injured. Especially the elbow, I was paralyzed for a month before it started to heal, and thus, bend....but only a little bit at a time, and man was it ever painful. Holy cow....don't ever get dim mak-ed people. It sucks.
These energy blocks never healed properly and the pranayama was finally getting to levels deep enough to address that. It was working. I felt really sore in these areas for about three days, then suddenly it was much better. The pranayama is REALLY cathartic - it altered the regular course of my menstrual cycle, my blood pressure and normal body temperature.
There is a reason you are told not to mess with this stuff unless you have a good teacher or you really know what you are doing. It was due to intense, and I mean intense qi gong and pranayama exercises that I got into a bit of trouble in my early 20's - I basically had to "check out" and move to the mountains of BC and live with monks in utter silence for months on end to learn to "cool down" and regulate my body once more. It was the only time in my life where I was a bit frightened that I had managed to do something to myself that I (possibly) couldn't get out of. Another term for what I experienced is known as the "kundalini syndrome' - if you don't take care of it, you can go insane, no joke. It's painful physically, and maddening mentally. Thankfully, I found the answer in the ashram library up in the Kootneys, you can reverse the unpleasant affect of kundalini syndrome with venting exercises. Many old Taoist texts will speak on this. I was very lucky to have found the remedy.
So, I am looking forward to doing the Sadhana intensive next year. (Basically TONS of pranayama, but you have teachers assigned to "watch" you and make sure you are maintaining mental stability. Not everyone finishes this course, now I know why...) It will clean up A LOT of stuck or blocked energy. If only two days of pranayama began the healing process of such old blockages and massive martial arts injuries, imagine what two weeks of day in and day out pranayama will do! Then again, I might become insane, apparently that is one of the possible side effects....a risk I am more than willing to take.
I left Val Morin at this time last week. It is a Sunday afternoon. My journey is taking a turn and opening new doors....doors I want opened. So, I continue my training and work towards the next ego breaking, reality shattering, no sleep for four weeks ashram experience.
peace, Hari OM
YF
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