Headstands, iai do, broken knees and yoga teacher's training in Quebec

Here I am in the Laurentian mountains, at the Sivananda ashram in Val Morin, Quebec. It is spectacularly beautiful, and soooo good to be out of the city.

Today I got up into headstand for the first time. It was wonderful! I felt such joy at doing it finally too. But they weren't kidding when they said that it works on the psychological component of fear. Not long afterwards I felt a lot of sadness and frustration....all the unhappy energy that I couldn't afford to allow myself to feel after breaking my knee. All the limits and restrictions imposed on my while I relearned to walk - I am not only still feeling these things, but feeling them quite strongly. Man, I really need to release this, it's not doing anything for me. I guess I have to keep doing the headstand. lol

I am here for a month doing the TTC (teachers training program) and my main reason for being here is to heal my knee (both the physical as well as mental/emotional) as much as possible. Hopefully I can return to the Iai do training afterwards also. Well....we'll see how far along I have progressed by the end of the program.

Peace,
Yvette

Scorpions, cold butts, abscessed knees and the beginnings of transformation in Quebec

The teachers' training course continues...

I've been at the ashram for over a week now, and I've discovered that my knee and tendon isn't just badly inflamed, there is an abscess developing as well. (Man, that's just one more thing that I SO don't need right now.) No wonder the sudden and intense burning pain.

Good thing I carry a medical kit and acupuncture needles wherever I go. Took a shower, made an incision, drained the area, cleaned and dressed the wound. Did some acupuncture, rested a bit and am now trying not to aggravate the knee. Remember, this is the knee that I smashed to bits and pieces and spent the better part of a year undergoing surgeries and then relearning how to walk. Not pretty. But definitely in the past and moving on. The problem is, is that everything we do at the ashram aggravates the damn thing! lol. Sitting meditation, intense poses, lots of weight on the knees, LOTS of walking, hiking etc. I don't want to let it bother me, but does bother me. I don't like being limited by the body...I have great will power, but sometimes, the body just isn't....ah..."there yet."

I am very determined to find perfect balance in Scorpion. (Vrichikasana) I practice constantly.

Prahlada, the head instructor, likes to `help` - then make fun and attempt to `goad` me into even more `fun` challenges. He`s such a rajasic Pitta. People, do NOT play volleyball with him unless you are willing to seriously `bring it.`

There are lots of interesting things to learn... it's like being in class all day, but it's sooooo good for you, and besides, I consider it fun. It's the type of challenge that I enjoy - plus, this whole month I am not in Toronto, therefore, technically, I consider myself on vacation. Any time spent outside of Toronto is vacation time in my books.

I managed to get up to full headstand today, twice, though not for very long.
Everyday we sit for many hours on the floor, our asses hurt so much we can hardly sit down for dinner. I have taken to squatting during the meals. It's just like when I was training at the Shaolin Temple in China....squat..eat....be ready for anything...

I've also started sleeping on my side or belly due to the discomfort of my behind....it turns out nearly everyone else in the program is experiencing the same phenomenon. Of course, bending your knees hurt just as much as keeping them straight for any length of time. They feel stretched, strained, pulled and abused beyond what you think you can endure....every morning I think, oh god....another 8 hours of sitting with my legs crossed..... Ah well, transformation is never really easy.

If I was into acrobatic kung fu, I could make it look really good.

We get up at 5am every day. This is the easiest part of the whole program for me. Staying up is the difficult part.  The 30 of us in the course really bonded... when you've cried, laughed, screamed, sung in front of everyone (by yourself - and I'm not a karaoke type of gal) have hearty discussions about your latest bowl movement and decided to divorce your husband/leave your girlfriend, change your life etc....you can't help but feel close.

Ok ok....I have Sanskrit prayers to memorize....gotta go
peace and light,
YF

Our first yoga class each day was done to the rising sun. Simply spectacular.

Early morning meditation on boulders in special areas deep in the forest, vibrating with high frequency energy. Highly nourishing. And damn cold the first few minutes.