The Sugarcane Plantation, karate kid, mangroves and poisonous frogs in Australia

Carmila, Queensland

G’day!

I am now living by a sugarcane plantation. 
Life just couldn’t get more interesting! Lol.

I visited my friends Laurie Anne and Darryl Jensen for two weeks in Carmila, Queensland.  Laurie Anne is a fellow Canuck and Darryl the Australian man who managed to steal her heart and convince her to uproot and move to Australia.

I should point out that Darryl also uprooted and moved to Canada for a couple of years before they decided to try it the other way around.

pps. My friend Laurie Anne created a wonderful mind map of my stay. It's a lovely visual of my time with them.  Click here to view.  I also want to thank her for taking so many lovely photos with me in them... my family will be pleased to actually see me 'doing stuff' and not just my `pretty scenery` shots.  If you're in Carmilla and reading this - hire Laurie Anne to do your photography! She's fantastic to work with.

The flight from Sydney to Mackay, QLD.

Hermit crab.

Laurie Anne is an incredible woman with many talents.  Anything she decides to try she does well. With many years as a health practitioner under her belt, she is now a budding (and quite excellent I might add) photographer, incredibly astute and sensitive medium (check out her website), potter and cook… amongst many things.  She is also recently a grandmother! Congratulations! Laurie Anne has a big heart and really knows how to gently (yet frankly) tell you things you need to hear.

Darryl is an astute and incredibly perceptive man with many talents. His are more hidden however, and only once you`ve spent a bit of time, banter and beer with him will he be prone to sharing.  Maybe. lol. He is an incredible martial artist who pointed out some really good things. He is intuitive and I suspect, also knowledgeable from years of working in the health field. This combination makes him quite deadly. Ten minutes with him and he`s got your issues all figured out. Luckily he has the grace to know when to keep it to himself! Lol.

Being a paramedic who also developed some of the highest training standards in the industry, sure made for interesting conversation. If I ever had any physical issues, I`d definitely seek his advice. Darryl is also a writer! He kindly gifted me with a copy of his first book. As soon as I have an online resource for you to check out I`ll post it here.  He is currently working hard on his third novel. I very much look forward to reading it.

I caught a "whollatta" stick fish, rock fish and poisonous fish. All of which had to get thrown back for various (and obvious) reasons. Darryl caught this gorgeous flathead which was quite possibly one of the most delicious fish I've ever had in my entire life. Yes, it was THAT good.  I also broke two of his fishing rods. Yes, I was THAT bad. (Hey, I haven't fished in a decade!) Man oh man... I was sure I'd be sleeping in the shed THAT night! lol.

Ron, Karen and their family invited me for a traditional "camp oven" (beach style pit bbq) at their place by the water. It was grand! The kids had a blast on the beach too.

It wasn`t until I got to Queensland that I finally felt like I was in Australia. Why you ask? Because it was 40 friggin’ degrees! That’s why.  It was sunny, hot and muggy… exactly what I had been expecting and not getting the previous 6 weeks.  So it finally hit me. I’m in Australia! Woo hoo!

Ron, the local sugarcane farmer took me and Laurie Anne on an educational tour of the plantation.  I am blown away!  Who knew farming was so high tech?!  Harvesters are HUGE and look like transformers. They also run on GPS and do NOT need a human to drive them. Can you imagine seeing one of those monsters trucking down the field next to you with what looks like NO ONE running it?  Kind of freaky if you aren’t expecting that. “Ah… the machines have taken over… the machines have taken over….!” I am having a flashback of T1, 2 and 3.  (That’s Terminator 1, 2 and 3 you non action-nerds.)

Ron was really gracious with both his time and explanations as I had A LOT of questions for him. I can’t tell you how totally impressed I am. I have a whole new level of appreciation for farming. (It just keeps growing, actually, the more I speak with farmers and all who work the land).

They have other machines which go into the fields and send a laser down into the top soil a few feet down. This helps them determine the exact mineral content of that particular patch of soil. They do this for each patch. This in turn allow them to create the most optimal mix of minerals/fertilizer to add to that soil, thereby minimizing waste and optimizing nutrient count.  Again, no human required. Just GPS, satellite and computers. The human needs to analyze the data however, as well as run the farm.

The workers also take apart those monster machines by hand and replace bearings, belts and all the other main parts. Very technical and skilled.

Ron then took us into the actual fields and showed us the main parts of the sugar cane. He had about 15 different types in his fields. Australia yields about 1% of the worlds’ sugar, while Brazil about 80%.

The following week, Ron, his wife Karen and their family organized a “camp oven.” Think bbq but Aussie country beach style. By the water and near the coconut trees, they had a pit dug up with many coals in it. These were lit for a few hours. Once they died down a bit, various meats, fish and sweet potatoes were wrapped in foil or placed in heavy fire resistant pots and placed NEAR the seething coals. This steamed the food making it delicious and soft. Amazing!  Thank you guys for organizing this so that I could experience a real Australian country bbq! 


Laurie Anne and I made a traditional Hungarian dish called “Rakot Krumpli” which translates roughly as “stacked potatoes.” It’s very tasty. Cooked and sliced potatoes are placed in a deep pan, then cooked and sliced eggs on top. Then Hungarian kolbasz, or sausage is added next. Then you add sour cream, fresh marjoram (the fresher the better) and cheese. You then repeat this process and “stack” more items one on top of the other. You cover with foil and bake. Yum! If you are a vegetarian, leave out the sausage. Still very tasty.

The next day we headed out to another neighbours’ farm. There was Ellie, her parents Mark and Ruth and brother Matthew. Her boyfriend’s name is also Matthew which made for some confusion. They have several gorgeous horses and one particular rascal of an Aussie dog called Axel… who often got into scraps with the equally rambunctious cat Harvey…. or was it Harry?  Lol.

Ellie and her dad work in the coal mines and are tough as nails, but also sweet and gentle and completely down to earth. In fact, everyone I met was just the warmest, most genuine down to earth type you could hope to meet. Really wonderful people. I would love to host them if they ever came to Canada.

Ellie had recently sold one of her horses and bought another one called BH. Australians don’t know how to pronounce the letter “H.” Laurie Anne tells me they are still learning their alphabets. They enunciate “H” with the “h” sound, so it comes out like “hhhaych.”  (North Americans pronounce this as "aych" with a long "a.") They also manage to prounounce a normally two letter, one syllable word like “no” with what seems like 12 separate sounds. Naawooeerrr … something like that with several silent letters in between! Lol.  The letter “R” pops up where there is no “R” and disappears where there IS an “R.”  Carlos and Ruth and I had a conversation about this too… it is a very unique pronounciation that Australians have. There are some sounds even I can’t emulate, and I’m usually pretty good at accents. Though I’ve been told that I am the one with the accent and speech problems. Could be, English is not my mother tongue. Klingon is. Oops… did I just say that out loud… ?

An attempt to remember my (oh so rusty) kung fu. What ended up coming out was the stiff ettiquette style of the Japanese forms instead.  "Relax Yvette... relax more... you're too stiff!" It was both exhilerating and frustrating to be aware of how much better I'd be if I could just break out of that shell... yet not knowing quite how to do that.

You never know with those Australian men.  Make the "right" comment and they may just whip out a sword from the shed! The very same shed they threatened to put you into if you "didn't shape up!"  I should also point out that the shed "may" contain various venomous creatures. Nice.

Darryl was absolutely phenomenal! It was claimed that he was inebriated and thus, not in top form. I've had a lot of experience with teachers... he really knew his stuff.  It was good to have a chance to practice with him. Really grateful that happened actually.

Sword or staff? Both!

Why do I feel like this is a scene out of the Karate Kid?

It IS! Except wer're in Australia with a certain Mr. Jensen-san!
(The Japanese references are completely innapropriate as kung fu is Chinese... yes, yes, I know people... )

Apparently I have to learn to relax. I think Darryl is on to something...

Copious amounts of Australian Bundaburg rum, cheap champagne, Milo and buckets of honey were consumed, along with some chocolate and shortbread.  I won`t even get into how many eggs I ate. Thank God Laurie Anne and Darryl have their own hens. Not that it mattered much as they weren`t laying yet…but eventually they will be and hopefully this will make up for the fact that the whole town of Carmila is now out of eggs since I`ve wiped out their stock.  Mind you their population is only about 300 so I don`t feel too badly about it.

A variety of life changing books were read, in addition to having one particularly serious conversation about life with Darryl. This resulted in a rather sleepless night as my shattered subconscious attempted to put itself together again. Gee, thanks a lot Darryl.

I received lots of medical and practical life advice from Darryl… as well as lots of unsolicited relationship advice.  (In other words, I got drilled.) There were many times when I was threatened to be “put into the shed.” Sleeping in the shed meant sleeping with a variety of venomous creatures.  This did not bother me, however, going one day without Laurie Anne’s homemade shortbread did.  It would have killed me, in fact.

I also had a chance to meet a very sweet and lovley man called George, a collegue of Darryl's. He is from the Torres Straite Islands and Aboriginal. He very graciously told me a little about his culture which was very enlightening. He even came back one night and made us all a MOST delicious coconut chicken curry that his mom used to make.  Now isnt' that a beautiful gesture... to share a dish that your mom used to make?  I haven't had chicken since I was 18, and even though I normally wouldn't touch anything that came into contact with it, I had to make an exception here. I didn't eat the chicken but everything else and it was absolutely delicious. Most especially because it was made with such wonderful energy and eaten amongst friends. I really enjoyed meeting George and I hope he finds that girl "who can cook fried rice like mum"....

Laurie Anne wading in one of the many "pools" during low tide.

Darryl took me out fishing with him which was great. Salt water fish are clever and devious. They do NOT behave like their fresh water cousins my friends, not at all. IF you manage to catch a fish, it will swim straight at you to make you think it got away. THEN it will find a rock to hide beneath to make you think your hook is caught. Your action of trying to dislodge the hook helps the fish escape. Clever huh? Damn fish! I had to throw every single rock and stick fish back… and when I finally caught something live, it was poisonous. So much so that I couldn’t even touch it. Darryl had to use a towel to remove it from the hook. Sigh. There goes dinner. He, however, caught non poisonous fish like the delicious flathead. Oh my gosh that was tasty fish. Try it. The flathead.

I wonder if I should worry about my propensity to attract dangerous creatures?  They seem to like me for some reason.

I won’t even get into how I kept breaking Darryl’s fishing lines. Yeah.. apparently I need to “relax” more. Lol.  I am SO getting put into the shed tonight, aren’t I … (wimper, wimper….)

Beautifully coloured parrots having their morning breakfast.

I had an emotional and enlightening reading with Laurie Anne, then proceeded to watch an equally emotional Australian movie called “Red Dog.” I cried internally. Then I got blasted for being such a cold, emotionless woman. (Which, btw, is not true... I am just too embarrassed by my emotions to share it with people or allow them "out" in public, usually). Sheesh!  (Yes, yes... I know... get over it already.. I'm working on it people!)

“Red Dog” is an excellent movie. I highly recommend it.

I like that crab's shell better. I think I'll just go right ahead and "help myself" to it.

Do you people have any idea how much effort is required to escape from this shell? Do you?

Yick! I just threw up! Guts and all... what the heck was in that rain drop?!!

Doesn't "Tony" look happy and healthy? He's a great shade of green.

I used to have a room painted green.  I loved it. It was very relaxing to hang out in.

Apparently "Tony" is my frog charming.

He is a "proper frog" too. A real "frog's frog." (Kind of like a "man's man" for amphibians.)

When I say I won't hurt you, I mean it. So relax and let me appreciate your lovely green skin. There are some people who would like to fry you up with some batter... but I won't let them...

Look! Another stick bug! He was very patient with me... allowing me to handle him while we took photos.  I appreciate "graciousness" in an insect, same as in humans.

The black and white pigs are half wild boars.  This one seemed to enjoy my attention and didn't try to bit me too many times.  He was cute. I named him "Hamlet."

These harvesters work on GPS technology. No human driver required. Now don't you find that a tad bit freaky... if you saw a vehicle that looks a bit like a transformer go past you with NO driver?  Pretty amazing. There are machines that send a laser down into the soil to determine the nutrient content... thereby allowing the farmer to configure the optimal mix of fertilizer/minerals to put into that particular patch of ground before planting. Then the machines take over.  Farming has gotten very high tech.

I could hear Darryl's voice in my head warning me not to go in. There are toads, frog and rats in the fields... which means there are deadly snakes too. About six feet in Darryl's voice won out. I waited for Ron to re-emerge with "the one."  (See below)

The "One." About 12 feet tall and approximately 7 feet of usable cane.

"See Yvette... that there is the digit... the new growth. There is sugar in this part."

Ron showing me the areas of new growth.

Mangroves during low tide.

Lynn, another lovely neighbour took Laurie Anne and I on a few photography excursions. Laurie Anne gave Lynn some lessons on her new camera while I tried to sneak up on the two ladies and take some candid shots.  I was only moderately successful.

I caught seaweed. Luscious.

Darryl then took me outside for some Yi Chuan training. This is a rare water form style of kung fu. I really enjoyed our conversations around this and the subsequent practice. Darryl is truly amazing. He pointed out some excellent things and I am leaving with some ideas on how to “reeeelllaaaaxxx” some more. (Stop trying so damn hard!)

Laurie Anne and I had a chance to spend a lot of time together, discovering hidden (treasures) spots, going off on photography jaunts, visiting with neighbours, and getting into all sorts of trouble. lol. It was so nice to get to talk and hang out with her.  I still have many of her gorgeous pottery pieces at home and have given friends her creations as gifts.  (You know who you are!) lol.  She has also been writing in the local newsletter. I enjoyed reading her articles, very nostalgic in some and uber practical and human in others.  She has a good way with words, clay and human egos. lol.

While there she taught me to make quiche, shortbread and lots of other yummy things. Sadly, I only have one stomach so there was only so much food I could try... still... I ate enough that I got called "starvin' the first week. lol.

I was told that if Australians like you, they give you nicknames. If they don’t then they ignore you. They also show they care by “taking the piss out of you.”  I am happy to report that I got the piss taken out of me pretty much non stop.  I also got nicknamed “hungry (pun for Hungarian) starvin’ sick insect.” By the end of my stay that got converted to “Oi Vet!”  (Hey there matey, Yvette!!)  So perhaps… and despite my many shortcomings (of which I never ceased to be reminded) I somehow managed to make a good impression.

I can’t say enough about Laurie Anne and Darryl. They have gone out of their way to not only make me feel welcome and enjoy Australia, but also really took the time to connect with me and nourish me in many ways.  My time with them was restful, nourishing, emotional, and highly educational.

Mom and newborn (one week old filly)

Time for your pedicure BH.

You had better not kick me!

This ferrier plied his trade with such skill, it was amazing to see. He's apprenticed several "young folks" and none of them could stick with it or work as long as he. Lots of skill required.

"Well, our job here is done... Yvette has been corrupted." 

This is what Laurie Anne said as I departed. 

I was also told to `be loud.'. 

I will.

I had a wonderful time.

Thanks so much for having me guys!

Cheers!
Yvette